1. I’m so confusingly sad about Robin Williams. I didn’t realize I could miss someone I never really knew on a personal level quite this much. He killed himself. And it’s like: I definitely understand the kind of thinking that gets you to a place like that, but still WHY? I guess he made so many people laugh because he couldn’t? Or something equally corny. Funny and talented people are often the most broken it seems.

    Philip Seymour Hoffman. Robin Williams. MRS. KRABAPPEL though she was just old not suicidal I think. Growing up is hard.

    What’s gonna happen when someone I actually know dies? That hasn’t really happened yet. My wonderful great grandmother died, but she was my grandma, not my friend. And I’d been shamefully distancing myself for years as she forgot who I was… My dad showed her a picture of me and she said I was pretty, but still didn’t know who I was. That’s still hard to think about. But no one I have called friend has died yet. That’s very fortunate for me.

    I’m not sure yet what loss feels worse. It’s a different kind of bad feeling. And I still have so many more losses I’ve yet to feel. Dude.

    I’m gonna go make myself sick eating brownies and green tea. Well, more brownies and green tea. I was probably gonna do that anyway, but now it’s warranted.


  2. "It’s season 6 of Community. You’ll be watching like you’ve always watched it except now it’ll be legal!"
    — Dan Harmon (via havingchanged)

    (Source: mcspookyville, via havingchanged)


  3. I think I’m finally into this whole tumblr thing.


  4. Annnd I just realized that my asks to famous people had not been ignored I just didn’t know how to see them! Christ on a Christmas cracker.


  5. troyesivanisinfinite said: HAYLEY



  6. I’ve learned some things.

    I had heard about Tom Milsom but hadn’t thought much about it. As I was never a fan of his. But recently I caught a post on FB mentioning Alex Day in conjunction with Tom Milsom. I was really confused until I looked at this very informative post: http://unpleasantmyles.tumblr.com/post/79455706244/tom-milsom-hexachordal-heres-the-post-olga. I was going to call it wonderful or something, but that is not a good description of the subject matter. 

    Until I thought about it I didn’t realize that I hadn’t seen a nerimon video in months. I had been ignoring the Charlie McDonnell, Hank Green, and Bryarly Bishop posts that showed up on my YouTube feed. I just assumed they were speaking in general terms. Never about someone I actually admired. But in the wake of my overdue realization I’ve gone to those videos and read my first tumblr posts in months. And I’ve been inspired to make my first serious post in my several years on this website.

    It’s just so strange that someone who could make me laugh or smile has hurt other people in such an awful way. For a bit, before being confronted with the monumental evidence, I didn’t believe it. I thought that the creep I was never a fan of had brought out a bunch of false accusation. Like that time in the 90’s people thought satanic cults were running preschools. 

    I don’t know what happened, but as long as so many people say they have been hurt I can no longer support them. And many other people I respect, hopefully a feeling that won’t be ruined again, have spoken out about the subject. It seems awfully real. I’ve removed Alex and Carrie from my subscriptions on many things. Carrie has continued to be active and I’m shocked she hasn’t said much about it. And someone who paints herself as such a sweet role model is continuing her relationship with a known abuser. And even cutting ties with the abused.

    And frezned! I never subscribed to him, but I remember him having some Vlogbrother connections. He’s been accused, but hasn’t responded apparently. The list of evidence on that post I mentioned at the start just goes on and on. I’m not a fan of most of them. Just seeing so many names I recognize is so strange. And not seeing names is good. I don’t know who to trust anymore. I really liked Alex Day. 

    They aren’t supposed to be the celebrities they are. The great thing was real people making good content with the possibility of recognition. Using that to take advantage emotionally and physically… I don’t even know what to say. I mean this has happened with actors and directors or whatever pretty often. Often enough that it isn’t unexpected. Youtube just seemed separate from that. It really isn’t. It’s pretty much all the same.  

    I guess what I’m trying to ramble out is I wasn’t really aware until now that people really aren’t always who you think they are. I knew this in a real life context, but somehow excluded my beloved youtubers from the stipulation. It just didn’t seem like people could be awful without me knowing.People can be shitty even if you think they’re cool. This is not the way I would like to have learned this lesson. Fuck.

    And to top it off I recently read about the singer from Bright Eyes, one of my favorite bands, being accused. I read the girl’s post and I just don’t know. If I had heard of the accusations against Alex Day earlier instead of months after the fact I would have dismissed them. I don’t want to believe it, but at the same time it cannot be ignored. 

    People you look up to betraying and using their fans is a terrible thing.

  7. Good times

    (Source: cashcats)


  8. Oh My

    Oh no people I know are following me I should watch what I post.



  9. image

    Being able to ask a question to your idol and actually get a meaningful answer is ridiculously awesome. 


  10. Oh shit Dan Harmon answered my question